Boss – a person who exercises control or authority; specifically : one who directs or supervises workers.
If you have been working long enough, I’m sure you’ve had one…that’s right – a horrible boss. They may not be a horrible person, just a bad boss. Or they may be a horrible person and a bad boss. The boss has many faces and can come in the form of a client, partner, co-worker or even a ‘bossy’ friend who technically isn’t your “boss” but sure acts like it (this can be even worse).
I have been there. I’m happy to say I am now in a good place in my career – right where I’m supposed to be…but this wasn’t always the case. I want to share a book with you that literally changed my life – it’s called “Working for You Isn’t Working For Me,” by Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster.
Not only is the book amazing, they have a great website with a quiz and sample chapters to help you. This book isn’t about bashing bosses or people in management – in fact, if you are a boss yourself, you should give it a read. This is an action oriented book with helpful advice. There is an in-depth assessment that allows you to figure out your work styles – it then matches it with the type of boss you have. Knowledge is power.
You can learn why there may be issues and (in some cases) work to resolve them. Sometimes work styles just don’t mix, and that’s okay. Sometimes toxic people have power and make life miserable for everyone in their path – and that’s not okay (especially if they are managing you). Our jobs are where we spend most of our waking hours, don’t take it lightly.
If you are feeling some struggles with your boss, I encourage you to take this quick quiz from the “Working For You Isn’t Working for Me” website…
As a result of working for your boss…
1.) … do you find yourself eating more or less than you normally would?
2.) … are you sleeping more or less than usual?
3.) … are you constantly trying to predict your boss’s reaction to what you say and do?
4.) … are you overindulging in alcohol, recreational drugs or other mind-altering substances?
5.) … do interactions with this person leave you feeling deflated and drained?
6.) … do you frequently experience feelings of self-doubt?
7.) … do you feel as if the harder you work, the more there is to do?
8.) … has your self-confidence dropped?
9.) … do you feel angry and resentful every time he or she asks you to do something?
10.)… have you stopped exercising or doing things to release physical tension?
11.)… have you lost your ability to see the humor in situations at work?
12.)… does the sound of your boss’s voice make you feel tense?
13.)… do you spend a lot of time covering up mistakes to avert criticism?
14.)… do you frequently take over-the-counter medications for headaches, stomach aches, heartburn, back aches or other chronic ailments?
15.)… do you spend a lot of time outside of work complaining about your boss?
16.)… is your mind constantly reviewing and replaying emails, conversations and meetings with this person?
17.)… do your friends and family complain that you’re always preoccupied with work?
18.)… do you find yourself short-tempered — blowing up over small incidents?
19.)… do you feel tired, drained and out of control?
20.)… do you have revenge fantasies involving your boss getting hit by a car or pushed out of a window?
Total “yes” responses: ________
If you scored 0
Rx: You may want to read Working for You Isn’t Working for Me so that you can help others manage their bosses.
If you scored 1 – 5
Rx: Order Working for You Isn’t Working for Me and you’ll quickly see how to improve your situation.
If you scored 6 – 10
Rx: Purchase Working for You Isn’t Working for Me, and read sections one and two ASAP.
If you scored 11 – 15
Rx: Buy Working for You Isn’t Working for Me immediately. Identify your boss’s behavior and use section three to reduce your anxiety.
If you scored 16 – 20
Rx: Run, don’t walk to the closest bookstore and buy Working for You Isn’t Working for Me. Take a mental health day to read the book and begin implementing the strategies for relief.
Have you dealt with a challenging boss? Tell us how you survived…