WFYIWFMBoss – a person who exercises control or authority; specifically :  one who directs or supervises workers. 

If you have been working long enough, I’m sure you’ve had one…that’s right – a horrible boss. They may not be a horrible person, just a bad boss. Or they may be a horrible person and a bad boss. The boss has many faces and can come in the form of a client, partner, co-worker or even a ‘bossy’ friend who technically isn’t your “boss” but sure acts like it (this can be even worse).

I have been there. I’m happy to say I am now in a good place in my career – right where I’m supposed to be…but this wasn’t always the case. I want to share a book with you that literally changed my life – it’s called “Working for You Isn’t Working For Me,” by Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster.

Getting Clarity

Not only is the book amazing, they have a great website with a quiz and sample chapters to help you. This book isn’t about bashing bosses or people in management – in fact, if you are a boss yourself, you should give it a read. This is an action oriented book with helpful advice. There is an in-depth assessment that allows you to figure out your work styles – it then matches it with the type of boss you have. Knowledge is power.

You can learn why there may be issues and (in some cases) work to resolve them. Sometimes work styles just don’t mix, and that’s okay. Sometimes toxic people have power and make life miserable for everyone in their path – and that’s not okay (especially if they are managing you). Our jobs are where we spend most of our waking hours, don’t take it lightly.

If you are feeling some struggles with your boss, I encourage you to take this quick quiz from the “Working For You Isn’t Working for Me” website…


As a result of working for your boss…

1.) … do you find yourself eating more or less than you normally would?
Yes ___ No__

2.) … are you sleeping more or less than usual?
Yes ___ No___

3.) … are you constantly trying to predict your boss’s reaction to what you say and do?
Yes ___ No___

4.) … are you overindulging in alcohol, recreational drugs or other mind-altering substances?
Yes ___ No___

5.) … do interactions with this person leave you feeling deflated and drained?
Yes ___ No___

6.) … do you frequently experience feelings of self-doubt?
Yes ___ No___

7.) … do you feel as if the harder you work, the more there is to do?
Yes ___ No___

8.) … has your self-confidence dropped?
Yes ___ No___

9.) … do you feel angry and resentful every time he or she asks you to do something?

10.)… have you stopped exercising or doing things to release physical tension?
Yes ___ No___

11.)… have you lost your ability to see the humor in situations at work?
Yes ___ No___

12.)… does the sound of your boss’s voice make you feel tense?
Yes ___ No___

13.)… do you spend a lot of time covering up mistakes to avert criticism?
Yes ___ No___

14.)… do you frequently take over-the-counter medications for headaches, stomach aches, heartburn, back aches or other chronic ailments?
Yes ___ No___

15.)… do you spend a lot of time outside of work complaining about your boss?
Yes ___ No___

16.)… is your mind constantly reviewing and replaying emails, conversations and meetings with this person?
Yes ___ No___

17.)… do your friends and family complain that you’re always preoccupied with work?
Yes ___ No___

18.)… do you find yourself short-tempered — blowing up over small incidents?
Yes ___ No___

19.)… do you feel tired, drained and out of control?
Yes ___ No___

20.)… do you have revenge fantasies involving your boss getting hit by a car or pushed out of a window?
Yes ___ No___

Total “yes” responses: ________


If you scored 0
No boss stress. You are in good shape. Your job may be challenging, but your boss isn’t problematic.

Rx: You may want to read Working for You Isn’t Working for Me so that you can help others manage their bosses.

If you scored 1 – 5
Some stress – The boss is on your back. You experience some degree of pressure and frustration on a daily basis. You keep hoping that your situation will improve.

Rx: Order Working for You Isn’t Working for Me and you’ll quickly see how to improve your situation.

If you scored 6 – 10
Considerable stress – The boss is giving you heartburn. You have tried many things to improve the situation, but it seems like you can’t win. You are having a hard time taking care of yourself outside of work. You talk about the relationship a lot.

Rx: Purchase Working for You Isn’t Working for Me, and read sections one and two ASAP.

If you scored 11 – 15
Too much stress – The boss is giving you nightmares. Interactions with the boss are taking up more and more of your waking and sleeping hours. Your mind and body are showing symptoms of overload. You often wake up dreading the workday.

Rx: Buy Working for You Isn’t Working for Me immediately. Identify your boss’s behavior and use section three to reduce your anxiety.

If you scored 16 – 20
DANGER – The boss is lethal. Get immediate assistance. You look and feel like a Prisoner of War. You’d like to look for work, but you’re too burnt out to take any action. You feel like you need a year in Tahiti to recover.

Rx: Run, don’t walk to the closest bookstore and buy Working for You Isn’t Working for Me. Take a mental health day to read the book and begin implementing the strategies for relief.


Have you dealt with a challenging boss? Tell us how you survived…




Leave a Reply